A wise women told me once “don’t believe what is said only believe in what you see”.
I have seen so many articles about divorce and listened to all opinions about the Monster Mr. Divorce. Hearing and reading is really nothing compared to real life knowledge. From my experience as a divorced woman, I can say that most of what you read and hear is not true. I think that the consequences of divorce communicated are very exaggerated, so allow me to tell you what I have experienced myself.
Let’s go through all of what I was told then tell you the reality of each and every claim mentioned. I want to clarify that I will only go through the negatives people were so much sure, I mean like 100% sure that I will face after divorce.
1- The Husbands Stealer
Let me start by the most hilarious thing that I have been told: “All of your married friends will cut off their relation with you, they will all think that you are going to steal their husbands!”.
No this didn’t happen at all, my friends are still my friends and none of them ever thought like this. I go to my friends’ homes while their husbands are present and we even travel all together. Everything regarding our friendship did not change after getting my new title. Finally, if any divorced woman experienced this, let me tell you clearly that it’s your friends’ problem not yours. If a friend decided to end it up with you because you are now single and she is terribly scared that her husband could think of you, so she is probably unsecure and it’s her fault not yours.
2- My options are only limited to losers
They will say “you will for sure get married to someone who is terrible, who would marry you except a loser, you are now divorced, you are less than any other women- defected”.
No, No! I am not less than anyone, maybe I am better than many. What did I do to attract losers and terrible men? what have changed in me. Nothing at all, I am still the same lady I was before getting married, maybe divorce made me wiser and can say no to losers.
3- Everyone will use you
They said “All men who you will be dating will not plan for something serious, they will just be taking advantage of you either, financially or sexually”.
Let me stop here and tell you that single ladies are just like divorced, they both face this same issue. What can stop men from taking benefit of you is not you being untouched, it’s you saying no and setting your limits.
4- You cannot get divorced again
My mum once told me “If you got married again and it didn’t go well, you will never be able to get divorced once more, you will be doomed in this unhappy marriage forever, you can’t handle the title of twice divorced”.
Excuse me, why I will not do this again? Why would I stay in another unhappy marriage? I know now how to end it and when to end it if I have to. I handled the title of divorced woman and I can handle double the trouble.
5- You cannot raise your kids alone
“Your kids will get negatively affected, kids cannot be raised properly without their biological father”.
No your kids will not be affected if they are loved and understood. You can easily raise them alone and I think most of married women today are taking care of their kids solely. If you got married to a loving person, he can be a great substitute to their biological one. Just make sure to pick the right guy this time.
To conclude, if you are so sure about your decision and you think that divorce is the only solution you have, please be certain that there are negatives but life isn’t that bad after getting divorced.
Most of the claims you will be hearing aren’t real. May be they were legitimate in the past; I mean like 20 years ago but surly they aren’t valid today.
People now know very well that the divorced women are not less than other women. What happened to her is fate and no lady ever wanted her marriage to up end with divorce.
You can control very well what others think of you with your personality and attitude. Moreover, do not worry about your kids, they will be fine, just love them and they will be great.
Finally, as we all know, divorce rate reached 60.7 in cities according to CAPMUS 2017 report, meaning that every family has a divorced case, every group of friends has 2 or 3 divorced friends. People get in touch with a divorced woman every day and they know that it could be their daughter, sister, mother, relative or best friend.